Yet again a broken bed!
The boys have been through four in six years.
First bed death: three jumping up and down on top bunk in time to " We are the champions of the World", during an important football victory, which resulted in two needing plasters and one needing staples - death followed soon afterwards - those poor, poor bed slats, may they rest in peace.
Second bed death: five thirteen year old males decided to run and bellyflop with full weight onto unsuspecting bed. Result, instant collapse and death.
Third bed death: gradual and slow drawn out demise due to constant use as fight club arena for twins. Bruised, ruptured and haemorrhaging it eventually gave up.
Fourth and, hopefully, the final bed death: eldest son's bed. Reason for death - over use of fourteen stone rugby prop dreaming, I presume, of next match. I can only presume this is the case,as no human male or female would enter his lair without need of a tetanus jab, yet the noises emitting this feral hole seem akin to the NZ Haka! So either he sings the New Zealand chant of his step father subconsciously; or has sleep apnea and is gasping for air, writhing around maniacally with a desperate bed breaking need to breath or he is tugging on his favourite - that climatic call of every male in England ......that first try!
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